"God Hears" Samuel

Samuel as Buzz before his end of year Kindergarten performance...

2011-06-01T14:35:00.002-04:00

Samuel enjoying a moment with pregnant Momma at Grandpa's viewing...

2011-06-01T14:32:00.000-04:00

Sam at a Mavs game with Daddy this season...

2011-06-01T14:10:00.002-04:00

6 Years Old...and soon to be a big brother!

2011-06-01T14:00:00.000-04:00

So much has happened since the last post here on Samuel's blog. Here's the news, in brief. At the end of February 2010 we quickly moved down to Dallas, TX due to the sudden terminal cancer diagnosis of Robert's Dad. He was only expected to live a few months at the time, but survived over a year longer before finally passing just a few weeks ago on May 11, 2011. It has been a very long, crazy year+ for all of us as you might imagine, including/especially for Samuel, who turned 6 about six months ago. We did leave behind our house in OH which we still own, but there will be more news about that later. In the meantime, Samuel started Kindergarten this school year and has done very well. His last day of school is tomorrow and he's wrapping up the year with a number of awards including high honor roll, a spelling award, and a character award for perseverance. We're very, very proud of him. Samuel can read quite well now and we've enjoyed seeing this journey begin for him...and us. He really enjoys reading to himself but still likes when we read to him at bedtime too, for which we are grateful. We'll have a fair bit more news to share soon, but for now here's a self-portrait Samuel did at school and a link to Grandpa's obituary.

The "fam" at Christmas 2009....

2009-12-20T22:28:00.000-05:00

A book on CD from Grandma...

2009-12-20T22:23:00.001-05:00

...which were quickly put to use!

2009-12-20T22:20:00.002-05:00

Snow pants and boots from Grandpa....

2009-12-20T22:18:00.002-05:00

Samuel and cousin Michaela...

2009-12-20T22:15:00.002-05:00

The "fam" with the awesome birthday cake Kirsten made...

2009-12-20T22:11:00.002-05:00

Sam and Robert bowling with the cousins...

2009-12-20T22:07:00.002-05:00

Tuba Christmas, an Akron and family tradition...

2009-12-20T22:04:00.000-05:00

Samuel and Kirsten at Tuba Christmas in Akron yesterday...

2009-12-20T22:02:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Samuel!

2009-12-20T21:58:00.000-05:00

Well, here we are, five years after our beautiful son was born. It's hard to believe it's been that long. So much has happened in that time- some of it hard, but all of it God-given and received with gratitude. Today, we pause to say thanks for five wonderful years with our "miracle" kid and celebrate. Thanks, God, and thanks to you all who have in some way been part of this journey with us. If you check in here for what's going on with us and Samuel, I apologize for the infrequent updates; we'll keep working on being better about that. We are both on Facebook, which we update almost daily- look for us by our email addresses and if you don't have them, just let us know here in the comments and we can give them to you. In the meantime, I'll post some pictures here of the birthday festivities, etc.

Merry Christmas, all....

New Pictures...

2009-08-11T20:57:00.002-04:00

...are available at our Google Pictures site (linked to the right). Here's a link for the new album too.

Don't You Occasionally Update This Blog?

2009-02-24T10:25:00.003-05:00

As is always the case, much has happened over the past while and this blog is long overdue for an update. For starters, I should mention that Kirsten and I are no longer foster parents. As you may have read in previous posts here we had a pretty challenging experience with our first placement (4 and 1 year old brothers). After working pretty hard at loving those boys while also balancing the needs of our family, particularly as it relates to Samuel, a mutual decision was made by us and our foster care agency worker that the boys should be transferred to another home. This was obviously a very hard decision that I would like to defend, but simply can’t, as I do consider it a failure on our part. In any case, they moved on in late Summer/early Fall and I suppose there is some truth to the notion that we’ve sort of been “recovering” ever since. Unfortunately, the boys’ placement was disruptive in a number of ways. As Kirsten’s work schedule at the time had her sleeping on Sundays after working Saturday overnight, it proved nearly impossible practically for me to attend worship (taking all three boys by myself) with South Street Ministries, the church community we had been connecting to. It also was pretty disruptive, of course, in terms of our family life in ways that we may only now be realizing. Samuel observed a lot of very negative behaviors that he might not have been exposed to otherwise, and he also saw Kirsten and I really struggle to respond to those behaviors. I know he heard Mom and Dad raise their voices a lot more than we ever had before, and obviously the overall stress level in the house was greatly heightened. We also made some significant financial decisions, believing we were in it for the long haul (we bought a bigger, more expensive car and took on some additional debt). In the end, though, hard as it was to admit, we had to concede that our efforts to love “the least of these” through fostering simply wasn’t working. We weren’t doing ourselves or Samuel any good, laudable as our good intentions might have been, and it’s possible that we weren’t doing those foster kids much good either as our frustration mounted and our coping and behavior management skills proved ineffective, at best. This doesn’t excuse our decision and I don’t really mean to defend it. I don’t know if this really fully explains it, either, but there you have it.

Since then, we got wrapped up a bit in what for us was very exciting election season and then celebrated the holidays in fairly low-key fashion. Along the way, we marked the passing of Samuel’s 4th birthday with his first “kid party” in our home. That was pretty exciting for Samuel and us though of course a bit hectic too. Other changes have come as well. Kirsten left her job at Hattie Larlham (a residential facility for kids with disabilities; she still picks up shifts there now and then) to return to Akron Children’s Hospital as a staff RN. The resultant change in her work schedule required us to change daycare facilities for Samuel and make what was for me the very huge decision to put Samuel on the bus from daycare to his preschool. So far, Samuel has done pretty well; he loves riding “the yellow school bus,” though there have been a few issues. The assistant on his bus seems to not be the most happy and agreeable fellow to work with, and we suspect that the bus on at least one occasion was starting to drive away without Samuel being fully buckled yet. Samuel was good enough to protest to the degree that it finally came to our attention, and we think/hope/pray it’s been addressed. Also, unfortunately Kirsten went to pick up Samuel one day at the new daycare and found the staff person in his room sleeping along with the kids(!) during nap time; so we’ve had to pull him from that facility and try him at yet another one. Needless to say, then, there’s been a lot of change as of late, some of it good, I’d like to hope, and some of it not so good, and we’ve all been working to recover a sense of equilibrium in the midst of it all.

Recently, Samuel has started exhibiting quite a bit more misbehavior than he ever has before. This has been quite surprising and utterly challenging to us. We never went through any sort of “terrible two’s” with Samuel and up until recently Samuel has been nothing but a delight to parents, teachers, daycare workers, neighbors, and strangers alike. We’ve been good, I think, about telling Samuel that he is a “very, very good boy” from day one, believing that there are no “bad boys,” only bad behavior. We still believe this is the case and still tell him what a good boy he is, but lately there’s been significantly more “bad behavior” too. His preschool teacher suggested that this is simply a developmental phase that every child goes through and hence it is a good thing that Samuel is making his way through it now, if a bit late. That may well be, though I can’t help but wonder how much of it is a response to all the stress we’ve put him through over the past 8 months or so, and so is another occasion for me (Robert) to feel guilty. In any case, we were spared the “terrible two’s,” but, for good or ill, now seem to be contending with the “fearsome four’s.” Even so, Samuel remains a wonderful, delightful, hilariously funny “miracle kid” that we are blessed to call our son, and we thank God for each day with him, fearsome or not.

In other news, Samuel has successfully finished potty-training (with some issues overnight still). That took a bit longer than maybe it "should" have or we would have hoped, but then again when the boys were here we weren't able to give it the attention it required. In any case, this success was rewarded with Samuel's first bicycle, which we were thoughtful enough to give him just as Winter started. Physically, he's doing great and is making real progress developmentally. He still wears leg braces most of the time due to his mild Cerebral Palsy, and he still gets Speech, Occupational Therapy, and Physical Therapy at school, but he's making great progress on all those fronts.

For those of you who faithfully check this blog occasionally after all these years, we thank you. We know that Samuel would not be the wonderful kid he is today without all of your love, support, and prayer. Thanks again...

Guitar Hero Sam

2009-01-04T10:40:00.000-05:00

We desperately need to get this kid in some music lessons.

Samuel, Mommy, and Santa at "Breakfast With Santa"

2009-01-03T17:00:00.002-05:00

I've posted a few recent pictures here in Samuel's blog, but look for many more by following the "Buck Family Pictures" link to the right and then take a look in the "2008- Buck Pictures- Summer, Fall, Christmas" album. Also, look here at his blog soon for an update on what Samuel and the rest of us have been up to for the better part of 2008, including Samuel's recent 4th birthday!

Samuel Dancing at One of the Cuyahoga Falls Summer Festivals

2009-01-03T16:58:00.000-05:00

Self-Portrait: Samuel and Daddy

2009-01-03T16:56:00.000-05:00

Update

2008-08-27T06:00:00.003-04:00

Well this post is long overdue. I thought I'd let everyone know how we're doing as new foster parents for S- and J-. We've been at it now for a little over 2 months, but somehow it feels like an eternity. It was honestly pretty overwhelming to go from having one child to suddenly having three, especially because the two new ones came at different ages with their own well-established patterns of misbehavior, etc. Because Kirsten's works schedule has her gone from 5:45 on three nights a week while she works the overnight shift, it was daunting at first to have to think of putting them all to bed at once by myself, or getting them all up and off to daycare by myself two days a week, or trying to manage them at home on Sundays (and keep them quiet!) while Kirsten sleeps after working the night before. The initial anxiety about having to do all of that has passed, of course, and I think I have a pretty good system in place for handling bedtime and Sundays, and even for taking them all places by myself- like the library and to various events. Remember, too, I'm not talking about three kids that are fully "ours" and who we've raised from birth; I'm talking about one kid like that plus two that showed up at our door one night two months ago at the ages of 4 and 1.

So it's been quite an adjustment- for everyone. I think Samuel has really handled it pretty well. He still has difficulty sharing his toys, house, and parents, but he's learning and seems to have accepted this as the new "normal." One day not too long ago when S- was talking about his mom and was obviously referring to someone other than Kirsten, Samuel said "No, your mom's right there" and pointed to Kirsten. Speaking of S- (the 4-year-old), I think dealing with his behavior has been our biggest challenge. Those behaviors include:

Occasional physical aggression (hitting, kicking, and the like)
Frequent property destruction (intentionally breaking toys, books, and almost anything else he can get his hands on)
Lots of noncompliance (refusing to follow directions, especially for Kirsten, plus running away, not "following the rules," like for bedtime, etc.)
Odd stuff like putting almost anything in his mouth, literally chewing up his windowsill, licking many non-edible items, etc.
Lots of "attitude" like laughing while running away when it's time to go to bed or at other times of noncompliance; angrily demanding things, etc.
Frequent "whining" of a type that seems above and beyond that of a garden-variety 4-year-old
Some oppositional behavior: "I don't want that no more. I don't want that no more. I DON'T WANT THAT NO MORE." So you say okay and put it away which provokes an immediate "I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT!"
A good bit of manipulation, like using having to pee as an escape from bed or nap time, or when in a timeout, etc.
Constant attention-seeking behavior and understandable jealousy toward Samuel, which we really understand and empathize with, but which is so relentless that it really wears you down.
Lots of ADHD-like behavior: an inability to attend to simple instructions, extreme distractibility, and physical "busyness" that can be so over the top that he's literally bouncing off the walls, etc.

Of course, S- is modeling all of this for Samuel, and while he's been holding his own pretty well in terms of not following suit with everything S- does, he's still picking some of this misbehavior up, to our great chagrin.

We've seen a ton of improvement from J-, thankfully. When he came to us he would scream at every opportunity- when a limit was set or he was otherwise told "no," when placed in his crib, jumpie, or playpen, etc. Much of that has now waned and he'll play contentedly in his crib before falling asleep. He still struggles with other times when he has to be contained or when limits are set, but he's really come a long way, for which we are very grateful.

All of this has been pretty challenging to us as parents. We find ourselves much more frustrated, impatient, and exhausted than we ever have been, and unfortunately it shows. When it was just us and Samuel we almost never raised our voice or lost our patience or even our temper, but this now happens on an almost daily basis. We're coping, however imperfectly, but we have a lot to learn too, and that's happening more slowly than we might like. The sad part is that while Samuel is learning to share his stuff and his parents, etc., he's also learning a thing or two about Mom and Dad, like our capacity for raising our voice (read: yelling) when our patience is at an end, etc. I did experience a bit of relief and a renewing of my strength to do this- to love as I should- when the other day I remembered (duh!) why I did this in the first place and how I wanted to approach it. I remembered to look for Jesus in S- and J-, to find him in "the least of these" that now sleep under "my" roof every night. I pray that I will look at them with those eyes each and every day.

The Buck Family, Take 2, and Action!

2008-07-06T09:48:00.003-04:00

For those of you who haven't heard, just about two weeks ago our family almost doubled in size. Many of you know we've been working for nearly a year to go through all the training and other requirements to become foster/adoptive parents. Well, after a whole lot of waiting, our license was finally issued by the state. We received that two weeks ago yesterday- on Saturday, June 21st. Two days later, on Monday, June 23rd, we got our first call asking if we wanted to take two boys- S-, age 4, and J-, who was to turn 1 the next day. We said yes, and so for the past two weeks we've been adjusting to life with three children 4 and under, two of them still in diapers. It's been quite challenging for reasons both obvious and perhaps not, but on the whole I think we're doing okay.

We find ourselves having to be hyper-vigilant and having to give almost constant redirection. For the time being, our days of being able to get done what we wanted or needed to while Samuel basically had the run of the house- all the while having the time and energy to give him all the love and attention that he could possibly want- are over. We trust and are working hard to make sure that Samuel gets all the love and attention that he needs, to be sure, but now we have to balance that obviously, with trying to do the same for S- and J-. Samuel and S- are close in age (3 and 4, respectively); so they're learning to play together and share, which is a struggle for both of them. J- is an adorable, happy, chunky one-year-old who does pretty well when allowed to roam (crawl/creep) wherever he wants and do whatever he wants, but he struggles (loudly) when any sort of limits are set, be they physical barriers to movement, or when put down for a nap, or in the playpen or "jumpie" so that we know he's safe for the moment while we tend to something else, etc. For the first two weeks his modus operandi has been to scream whenever he's contained anywhere, or when we try to lay him down to sleep, or when he wakes up from a nap, etc.- and I do mean scream- loudly and incessantly until he's set free, picked up, etc. The obvious guess would be that this is how he learned to get his needs met in his birth family, but obviously it's been tough for us to deal with, and is such a marked contrast to our experience with Samuel.

I think Samuel is adjusting pretty well, considering what a change this is. Again, we trust that on the whole Samuel will be a better person for having had this experience (we hope we all will be), despite how challenging it seems at times. After all, we all have to learn to share and that there are limits to most everything, including time to receive a parent's affection, even if that affection is itself as limitless as possible. I guess that's why we need Jesus. If partners in marriage sometimes struggle upon realizing that their spouse can not be their end all/be all, this is no less true for parents and children. While for the first few years it will certainly seem to the child as if all things- good and bad, I'm afraid, come from parents, even so we can only give Samuel what we ourselves have received from God and one another- be it food, shelter, or love. Samuel is now learning perhaps quicker than he would have otherwise to seek and receive that love from us, but not only from us. Part of our hope in doing this is that Samuel will also learn- more quickly than he would have otherwise- that love can not be kept or contained. It is not a "zero-sum" kind of thing. When it comes to love, the more you give, the more you have, while the more you seek it for yourself and yourself alone, the more elusive it becomes. However Samuel responds to all this we will love him unconditionally and shower him with as much affection and attention as we can muster, along with all the food and shelter he needs. We can only pray that along the way he learns to share not only his toys and his Mom and Dad, but his own love and affection too.

New Pictures!

2008-05-24T10:35:00.001-04:00

By the way, there's a BUNCH of new pictures on our Google picture site; so be sure to follow the link on the right.

"I obey Daddy!"

2008-05-24T10:18:00.003-04:00

As a 3-year-old, naturally discipline is an ever-growing issue with Samuel. Of course, we try to use "positive discipline" as much as possible with lots of praise and lots of "catching him being good." We also use time-outs, typically up to 3 minutes on the couch, with the oven timer going so he knows to "listen for the beep-beep." So far this has been quite effective, especially when used in concert with "1-2-3 Magic," a strategy I learned at work. It's very simple and basically boils down to this: in a situation where Samuel is misbehaving or is about to, I tell him, "Samuel you have until 3 to..." whatever he's being asked to do/not to do. I start counting and Samuel knows when I get to 3 if he hasn't complied he will have a time-out on the couch (an immediate and consistent consequence after 3 that's supposed to lead to the "magic"- obedience). Speaking of obedience, we've also been introducing the concept and language of obedience to Samuel, and he knows that this is listening/complying with what we're telling him to do. Well, on a number of occasions, including this morning, when we've gotten to the point of counting him out, he's done what he's been asked to do by 3, and as soon as he has he gets a big, big smile on his face and exclaims "I obey(ed) Daddy/Momma!" and starts jumping and clapping excitedly. Naturally we join him in the chorus.

We also had a milestone this morning as Samuel "peed in the potty-chair" for the first time, which is something we've been working on for a very long time. He earned a sucker as a reward and hopefully this will be the start of a trend!

Job Description for Samuel's Guardians

2008-04-22T08:44:00.001-04:00

So I've had occasion recently to think about the qualities that I would want in a guardian for Samuel in the event that Kirsten and I would both die unexpectedly. This is a work in progress, but this is what I came up with:

I want Samuel to be raised by folks who will provide for him, protect him,
nurture him, and love him. More than that, however, I want him to be raised by
folks who will help him grow into the fullness of who he is "meant" to be- a
beloved child of God who participates in God's redemption of the world through
Jesus' ministry of reconciliaiton. I want Samuel to be raised by folks who
can do more than just tell him the Jesus story. I want him to be raised by folks
who are living it- folks who will show him what participating in that story is
all about. My hope is that he would be a part of a community that is making a
genuine attempt to pursue God's dream for the world, not the American one. I
want him to be part of a community that lives as if its first and only
allegiance is to Christ, a community that embodies the inbreaking of God's
kingdom- a kingdom "not of this world" in which (real, tangible, present) good
news is preached to the poor, captives are released, the blind recover their
sight, and the oppressed are set free. I want Samuel to have in his life
"heroes" of the faith that he can interact with, look up to, and learn
from. Every night I tell Samuel that Jesus loves him and I prayerfully
release him into Jesus' hands. I want him to be raised by folks who can- and
will- do the same.

I know what I’ve described is a tall order. Kirsten and I don’t do any of the above perfectly or even well. However, we do believe in doing our best to “live into” the kind of life I’ve described above, and we hope that anyone who might raise Samuel in our stead would do the same.

Update

2008-04-22T08:26:00.004-04:00

Hello everyone,

Sorry for not giving a more timely update on Samuel's illness. It's been a long road. So, to make that long road a bit shorter, basically what happened is that Samuel was hospitalized again. Our experience this year was much, much better than last year, though. Samuel only had to stay overnight, for which we are very grateful. They never diagnosed him with RSV or anything; it was just an "exacerbation" of the "asthma-like" symptoms he gets whenever he gets real sick, which is a result of the Reactive Airway Disease that goes along with him being a former micro-preemie. Anyway, by the grace of God we were able to go home the next day.

So we sent him back to daycare (he's only there one full day and one half day per week, though he is also in pre-school for three afternoons per week), where he promptly caught strep throat and got real sick again. He did the usual 10-day course of amoxycillin to treat the strep, and we thought it was over. Two days later was a real tough day, especially for Kirsten. Kirsten had picked him up from daycare to take him to preschool in the afternoon, and he seemed fine. Then she got a call from the preschool saying he had a real high fever and was acting quite sick- not himself, just wanting to be held, etc. Kirsten rushed out to hop in the car and go get him, and the car wouldn't start. Believe me, there's little that is more devastating to a parent then to know that your kid is sick and to be unable to reach them. So I drove as fast as I could from work in Canton (30 minutes away) to pick him up. I think I hit 90 on the freeway. Oops. Throughout the rest of that evening Samuel really wasn't himself. Unfortunately, it's not all that uncommon for Samuel to get 103 degree fevers, and to start having trouble breathing, etc. But even when that happens, he's still a real "trooper." He still will often want to run around and play, but not this time. He was extremely irritable, didn't want to play, and didn't want to be put down at all. It had us more concerned than usual.

So Kirsten took him to the doctor the next day, and the first thing she asked about was whether or not it could be strep. For whatever reason, the doctor didn't think so- and didn't check, either; nor did he do any other blood work or anything else. He was content to send them on their way with no explanation for anything. So I called the doctor back and did my best not to second-guess him while advocating (with conviction) that he do further testing. The doctor said okay and sent them back to the lab for bloodwork. His white blood cell count came back around 21,000 when it should be 16,000 apparently. So the doctor advised, finally, a "second opinion at the ER." At the ER that evening the first thing they did was a strep test, and lo and behold, he still had it. So they prescribed as stronger antibiotic, which he's about four days into now. Since then, his fever broke and he's gone back to acting like himself. We're hopeful that after this round of medicine we'll be done with this for a while, but as always, time will tell....

Been there....

2008-03-18T22:30:00.002-04:00

...done that?

So apparently it's RSV season still, at least that's what we're guessing in regard to Samuel anyway. It wasn't much more than a year ago that Samuel was hospitalized due to complications from it, and much to our surprise and chagrin it appears that he may be headed that way again, even at the ripe old age of 3. He started with the cough on Saturday. Monday he spiked a big temperature (103 before the Motrin kicked in) and today he's started wheezing and retracting. We'll be watching him closely tonight and taking him into the doctor tomorrow (unless his symptoms progress further overnight) at which point hopefully we'll find out what's going on- if it's RSV or something else, how bad it is, etc. We'll keep you posted...

"I'm 3!"

2007-12-20T10:56:00.000-05:00

At 4:55am three years ago today, Samuel David Buck came into the world four months premature. On his second night of life we were told he wouldn't live through the night; so he has now lived 1,093 days longer than he was "supposed" to. We continue to count each day as a blessing and gift from God, and are grateful beyond words.

Happy Birthday, son.

Thank you, Jesus.

"Samuel Says" Archive

2007-12-20T10:40:00.000-05:00

You'll see that I've removed the "Samuel Says" section that used to be to the right. While Samuel has long struggled to catch up in terms of his speech, he's made incredible progress of late and is now talking up a storm. At this point listing all of his commonly used phrases would take several pages; so we are happy to "archive" this section. In the future, when Samuel says something blog-worthy we'll post it with a "Samuel Says" label here. For posterity, though, here is what the "Samuel Says" section used to say:

Among the areas in which Samuel is catching up developmentally, speech is the one in which he has the biggest delay. Below is a list of the words and phrases he's using so far, sometimes to hilarious effect...

"All gone/all done" (used appropriately and interchangeably)
"Belly-button" (while showing you where his is)
"Blanket" (said whenever he sees one. Samuel loves blankets and if a soft one is on the floor he'll plop down and lay his head down as if to sleep.)
"Bye-bye"
"Dog-gie!" (said quite appropriately, though for other animals too, and is usually followed by his version of a dog barking, which is "Yeah-Yeah!")
"GOO-LA-OOM" (This was used for a long, long time and is probably his favorite phrase for his first year-and-a-half of life. It took us a while to catch on, but this refers to his favorite book, "Goodnight Moon")
"Milky-baa" (sounds like "bilka-baa" and is also used quite appropriately and usually urgently)
"Mo-ma" (sounds a bit like "momma," but is used to ask for more of something, usually food, and is most often accompanied by the sign for "please," which he has learned well)
"No-no!" (whenever doing something he's not supposed to, while still doing it, or when someone else does something he doesn't approve of)
"Nose" (while showing you where his is)
"Peek-a-boo" (this one seems to have been abandoned of late)
"Take that!" (This is a one-timer repeated twice after Daddy said it while Samuel and Daddy were wrestling)
"Touchdown" (sounds like "butt-down" and is done WITH appropriately upraised arms!)
"Uh-oh" (whenever dropping something, often on purpose, or when something falls)
"Up-down" (Also a one-timer said after Kirsten said it)

New Pictures

2007-12-19T21:35:00.000-05:00

We have about 86 new pictures from:

our recent trip to COSI in Columbus to visit Kirsten's college roommate and her family
Samuel's birthday celebration with his cousins here in town
and from his birthday/Christmas celebration with our dear friends, Jared and Tina

You can view them over at the Google pictures site (see the link to the right), or here (click on the picture of Sam with his best friend, "Dino"):

2007- Buck Pictures- Late Fall, Sam's Birthday, Christmas

...with his mask on.

2007-11-22T10:51:00.001-05:00

Spider Sam!

2007-11-22T10:50:00.000-05:00

He's a happy kid...

2007-11-22T10:48:00.000-05:00

New Pictures!

2007-10-27T11:47:00.001-04:00

There are more than 80 new pictures in our online photo album. Be sure to click on the "Buck Family Pictures" link to the right, and check out the late Summer/Fall album...

By The Way....

2007-10-27T11:39:00.000-04:00

...Samuel's MRI did take place as scheduled, the metal clip from his heart surgery in the NICU did not come flying through his chest, and everything came back fine. It appears Samuel's minor Cerebral Palsy is just related to his minor brain bleed from when he was born, and nothing more- for which we are very grateful. In this, as with so many other things related to our "miracle kid," God has been good to us (theologically, that's very hard for me to say, for I can't help but think of all those kids who had major brain bleeds and major CP, or who didn't make it, etc. What about them? Was God less good to them and their families? Why or why not? These are all issues I intensely struggle with, but that's a matter to discuss on one of my other blogs. For the purpose of this one, let me just say that despite all of this I know the importance of gratitude- and that all good gifts come from God. So, with great fear and trembling, I try to give thanks where thanks is due.).

"Big Pumpkin!" as Samuel would say...

2007-10-27T11:35:00.000-04:00

Isn't this a great shot? We took Samuel to a pumpkin patch a few weeks ago, and we had a blast. Samuel is really into pumpkins this Fall, and with Christmas around the corner, I know he's going to have a ton of fun with that too...

MRI this morning- maybe

2007-10-08T08:50:00.000-04:00

So Samuel is scheduled to have that MRI of his brain in a few hours to see if anything else is "going on" related to his Cerebral Palsy. Aside from the relative "trauma" of any sedated hospital procedure, it's turned out to be something of a logistical nightmare already. When Samuel had his PDA ligation 10 days after birth, they inserted a surgical clip to close up the hole in his heart (did anybody else think of Extreme when they read that last bit?). Well, it turns out that those clips are often metal, and metal and MRI's don't mix. So we've spent all morning on the phone with CHOP (whose doctors did the procedure) and HUP (where Samuel had his NICU stay, next door to CHOP) to determine if Samuel's clip is, in fact, metal, and if so, if it is safe to do the MRI. It turns out that the answer appears to be yes on both counts (or so we're told). So we're off....

"Whoa, Baby!"

2007-10-03T09:39:00.000-04:00

I wanted to share a couple of quick stories with you. While Samuel's speech is still delayed, it really is progressing rapidly as of late, no doubt in part due to the two speech therapy groups he's a part of. He's also already really beginning to get abstract concepts like "under," which is his favorite, as well as "big," "little," and possession: "for Daddy," "for Momma," "for Coho" (our dog), and "for Samuel." Furthermore, one of his favorite phrases is "Whoa, baby!"- which he always uses appropriately, often for something that's big (a spoonful of ice cream, for example). So as Samuel and I were having dinner last night, I had a big, Daddy-sized bowl of the soup Kirsten made for us, and Samuel had a smaller, Samuel-sized bowl of soup, though it was very full. Samuel looked at my bowl and said "Whoa, baby!" at how big and full it was, and then he looked at his bowl and said, "Little whoa, baby!" :)

I guess he also pointed at Kirsten's nose this morning and said "big nose," (no insult intended, I'm sure) and then at his and said "little nose."

On Immediate and Long-Term Diagnoses, Adopting Kids and Dogs, and Basement-Filling Roller Coasters

2007-09-18T05:53:00.001-04:00

So that blogging I never got to the other night- well, I didn't get to it because that afternoon, after being diagnosed with cerebral palsy at his developmental follow-up appointment, Samuel developed a fever such that I had to rush home after work to get him in to the doctor. It turns out he had strep throat, and his fever that evening shot up to 104. So I spent yet another anxious evening (with Kirsten at work) keeping a real close eye on Samuel to see whether or not I would wind up having to take him in to the ER. Thankfully, the fever broke, his antibiotic for the strep kicked in, and now he's doing much better.

So we've had a little while now to come to terms with the CP diagnosis. Like the doctor said, it is a mild form of it in his case (though he's still young and our understanding of the ongoing impact of his early birth is ever-evolving); so we don't want to make too big of a deal about it. Still, it's hard to hear/hard to know that your kid has another "label" to contend with. I think it will hit home a little more when he's fitted with a new pair of braces for his legs, and we'll be mindful of it all early next month when they do the MRI to see what else, if anything, is going on. Of course, in November Samuel will have an MFE done to see if he qualifies for an integrated pre-school for kids with special needs (like Samuel) and "typically developing" kids. That feels so ironic to me given that my job is to deal with MFE's and Special Education all day.

In other news, Kirsten and I have started the process to become foster parents through Summit County, where we live. We're pretty certain that if we are to have any more kids, we don't want to chance putting them through what Samuel went through (and what we did, of course), which is quite possible given that Kirsten would be "high-risk" for any and all future pregnancies. Also, given our concern for justice, foster parenting and adoption just kind of seems right- especially with our two extra bedrooms in our house right now. So, we're excited about this new journey and eager to see where it leads.

In the meantime, we "adopted" a dog from the Humane Society, and we're also pretty excited about that. Her name (not our choice) is "Coho," and she's a Shepherd Mix, though many folks see a little bit of Rotweiler in her. We've had her for a couple of months now, it seems like, and so far she's been wonderful. She's close to a year old, is great with Samuel, and feels like part of the family already. She's a bit of chewer and has had a few "accidents;" so we're all still adjusting. Also- oh my word- put her around other dogs and she turns into a precocious, annoying toddler, constantly wanting to "play" with her peers to the point where she won't leave them alone. It's pretty, well, interesting. Finally, amidst all the busy-ness of a new school year at work for me, Samuel's new label, the new dog, hours and hours of foster parent training, etc., we managed to make it to the Taste of Hudson. Naturally, it isn't quite the Taste of Minnesota, but it was fun nonetheless. While there, I randomly signed up for a free drawing for a "major" toy for Samuel- and won! Samuel is now the proud owner of a Step 2 "Extreme Coaster." The thing literally takes up half of our basement and is probably Samuel's greatest thrill right now. I'll try to post some pictures of that soon. On that note, I think any younger-ish foster child would be quite intrigued by the possibility of living with us for that reason too.

New Label

2007-09-11T10:42:00.000-04:00

Let me begin with an obligatory apology for our infrequent posting. We try to get pictures up regularly, but need to do a better job of writing about daily life with Samuel- what a joy it is and all the crazy/interesting things he says and does every day- along with the challenges and frustrations.

I'm writing very briefly now about one of the new challenges: as of this morning, Samuel has a new diagnosis- Cerebral Palsy. The doctor said that it was mild ("he'll never do ballet"), but they will do some further testing (a sedated MRI) just to rule out anything else that might be causing/contributing to it. I'll write more about all this and more tonight....

2007-07-10T20:31:00.001-04:00

Here you can just make out that rainbow over downtown...

Mother and Son

2007-07-10T20:29:00.001-04:00

Of course, this picture is pretty special too!

Father and Son

2007-07-10T20:19:00.001-04:00

Naturally, this is my new favorite picture. Thanks to Kirsten for capturing this moment on a beautiful evening in downtown Akron for the "Akron Family BBQ." We enjoyed some brisquet from Ft. Worth, TX, heard the University of Akron's steel drum band, and later heard the Akron Symphony Orchestra. It even rained just enough for a rainbow over downtown. It was an amazing evening.

New Online Photo Album

2007-07-05T17:19:00.000-04:00

We'll keep posting pictures here, but you can now also look at tons more pictures on our online photo album via the link below (also on the right, under "links").

http://picasaweb.google.com/robfredbuck

2007-07-03T22:00:00.001-04:00

The boys hangin' out....

2007-07-03T21:57:00.001-04:00

Grandpa lovin' on Samuel while he has his "milky-baa..."

2007-07-03T21:52:00.001-04:00

Samuel and Grandpa like to engage in witty repartee, often about the Bible or Christianity. I think while snapping this picture I overhead Samuel say: "So I got my plank out. Now about your speck...."

2007-07-03T21:50:00.001-04:00

Samuel and Daddy crossing a rope bridge...

Pick a caption!

2007-07-03T21:44:00.001-04:00

You can vote in the comments. Should this read:

"No, it's not a peep show. Samuel's just a very curious fellow..."
"Praise the Lord! Samuel saw the light..."
"As lead scientist at the Institute, Samuel is a pretty smart guy. Like many eggheads, though, he sometimes lacks common sense. This picture captures the moment just before Samuel realized he should have put his goggles on before giving the go-ahead for the experiment to begin."

2007-07-03T21:34:00.001-04:00

Samuel at the Akron Zoo with Mom, Dad, Grandpa, and cousins Kaitlin and Michaela...

2007-07-03T21:31:00.001-04:00

After enjoying a fire outdoors and roasting marshmallows, Grandpa is tempting Samuel with a "milky-baa"....

We're Still Here....

2007-07-03T19:51:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. We've been enjoying Summer so far, especially now that I'm on my 3 week Summer break from work (I work in a school). My Dad visited for the first week of that break and just flew back to Texas yesterday. I think Samuel and Grandpa had a great time, as you'll see in this picture- where Samuel, practicing his kissing skills, is a blur- and in those that follow...

WalkAmerica next Saturday

2007-05-04T08:26:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone,

What follows is part of an email that some of you may have gotten about next Saturday's WalkAmerica fundraiser for the March of Dimes: We will definitley be participating in this, and are thrilled to do so. Of course, if you're here at Samuel's blog then you must know that he was born just before Christmas in 2004- four months early. He's a former "24-weeker" due to him having been born at 24 weeks and 3 days of gestation (with 40 weeks being the "usual" term). At the time we were told that Samuel was just right on the cusp of viability (he weighed one pound, five ounces), and on his second night of life we were told that he wouldn't live through the night. By the grace of God, he did, and four months later he was able to come home from the NICU. That was 2 years ago. Today, Samuel is an amazing, vibrant, resilient, and precocious toddler, whom we are privileged to call our son. For those who would like to know more about our journey with Samuel, you can explore the archives on this blog. For those who would like to support us as we support the vital research the March of Dimes is doing to help other preemies like Samuel, you can check out www.walkamerica.org/kirstenbuck. Also, of course, if any of you are in the greater Cleveland/Akron/Canton area and would like to walk with us on May 12- just let us know (you can email Robert at robfredbuck@gmail.com).

It's over (we think)!

2007-03-13T09:45:00.000-04:00

This will be brief, but I wanted to let you all know that it appears our long dark night of RSV and Rotavirus is over, at least for now. It's been 24 hours since Samuel's last fecal incident; so it appears the Rotavirus may have worked its way out of his system. There could be some lingering "fallout," including the possibility that the enzymes in his gut may have been altered in such a way that he could now be lactose intolerant, but that's definitely an issue we can live with. I'll try to update a bit more when time allows, but in the meantime, thanks for your prayers for Samuel...and for us, as by the grace of God it seems we've made it through this without getting sick ourselves, and more importantly, without Kirsten's mom (who is immuno-compromised due to lupus) getting sick either...

Welcome home....sort of.

2007-03-11T11:25:00.000-04:00

Samuel came home late on Wednesday evening with the RSV mostly resolved, though he is likely to be an asthma kid. However, at that point the Rotavirus was just getting started. So we created a little isolation ward for Samuel down in our basement and began the delicate dance of trying to keep Samuel hydrated, but not so much that his gut got overstimulated. For a long while there anytime he drank or ate anything (though he hasn't really eaten very well in what seems like weeks now) it would come back out as pure water a very short while later. So as I've grown fond of saying, since Samuel came home we've been either working, trying to sleep, or up to our elbows in poo. Rota is highly contagious via contact through the famed "fecal-oral" route. Hence, both mine and Kirsten's hands are cracked and raw from near constant hand-washing, though by the grace of God neither of us have gotten it yet; so we are grateful. This is now Day 7 of Rota symptoms and it usually has up to an 8 day course, and things do seem to be getting a bit better; so we are hopeful that it may have wrapped up by tomorrow. Lord willing, it will do so and nobody else will have gotten it.

Thanks for all of your prayers and support during this latest round of medical fun with Samuel. We all are very thankful.

Perhaps Not

2007-03-06T10:21:00.000-05:00

Scratch that- Samuel's labs came back positive for Rotavirus. I'm not sure what's going to happen now. We'll keep you posted...

Homecoming?

2007-03-06T08:51:00.000-05:00

Well....it's been a bumpy ride over the past week, but Samuel has been doing well enough over the past 24 hours that we're hopeful he may come home soon, perhaps even as soon as today. We had a bit of a scare last night when it appeared that Samuel may have gotten rotavirus. He had a couple of diapers that led us to the likelihood of that conclusion, but has not had any since. So we're praying that this is not the case. If he had gotten it (what better place than a hospital to do so, eh?), depending on the intensity of the symptoms, he quite probably could have been in the hospital for up to another week. Also, it's so contagious that chances are high that Kirsten and I may have gotten it as well. They did go ahead and send a sample off to the lab to be tested, for good measure, but by the grace of God he has not had any symptoms since last night. So, if you will, join us in praying that he does not have it and will be able to go home today!

Quick Update

2007-03-02T09:12:00.000-05:00

Hello...

We wanted to let you know how Samuel's doing. Right now he's playing the "____ steps forward, _____ steps back" game. At this point I can optimistically say that it may be just one or two more steps forward than back. They have been able to wean the oxygen down from the 2 liters he was initially on. At this moment he's on one liter; so that's progress. Still, they've made several attempts to wean him further, which he has not tolerated. So, we're holding at one liter at the moment. They also started him on IV fluids, and they were able to wean him off of those, but then he stopped drinking; so they put him back on. As of late yesterday evening, he had been drinking well enough that they pulled him back off. We'll see if that lasts going forward. Meanwhile, he's still wheezing, retracting, and otherwise laboring to breathe with varying degrees of intensity. It is sometimes difficult to watch. As to his prognosis and how long he will be in the hospital, it's still kind of a day-to-day thing. I'll post updates as often as I can.

In the meantime, by the grace of God we count ourselves fortunate to again be surrounded by a community of friends who are, through their actions, demonstrating their love for us and Samuel. As always, we are grateful.

Thanks,

Robert- for Kirsten and "Wheezy" (Samuel)

RSV Hospitalization

2007-02-26T12:12:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone-

We wanted to let you know that Samuel is fighting RSV right now and has been hospitalized as a result. You can read info about RSV from the March of Dimes in the link above, but suffice it to say this is the dreaded (though common) virus we worked so hard to keep him from getting last winter. It's dreaded because while most kids get it, it is much, much worse for preemies, especially before age 2, and especially for ones like Samuel with chronic lung disease due to prolonged ventilator use. By the grace of God, he's only just now getting RSV when he's much bigger, older, and stronger. Even so, it's hit him hard and every breath comes with difficulty. We went in to the ER on Monday, and he's been at Akron Children's Hospital on IV fluids and oxygen ever since. His oxygen needs have been significant. He went home from HUP as a preemie on only an eighth of a liter of oxygen. For most of his hospital stay this time he's been on two full liters. They are trying to wean him now and made it down to half of a liter, before having to go back up this morning to one liter. They are discontinuing the IV fluid because he's drinking pretty well (though not eating at all); so once they get him back off the oxygen we can think about going home. Please join us in praying that will come soon...

We'll keep you posted....

Help us help others like Samuel!

2007-02-15T16:08:00.000-05:00

Hello all,

We've been remiss in not getting this linked here on Samuel's site, but we are glad to be able to participate again in March of Dimes' 2007 Walk America campaign. As you might guess, prematurity is something that is very close to all of our hearts; so if you would like to support us as we join the campaign to find a cure, you can find all of the info right here (click the link).

Thanks,

Robert, Kirsten, and Samuel

Snow soup

2007-02-15T16:01:00.000-05:00

...nor would it be complete without a chance to play in the snow, at least inside for a little while...

Stalactites

2007-02-15T16:00:00.000-05:00

Of course, a storm like this isn't complete without its share of amazing icicles...

Snow!

2007-02-15T15:57:00.000-05:00

Here's a near ground-level shot of our deck where you can really get a better perspective on what we're dealing with. Needless to say, Samuel could easily have gotten buried in some of the drifts...

Back-breaker

2007-02-15T15:56:00.000-05:00

From this angle, you can see a little bit better as I'm attempting to shovel our driveway...

Feet, not inches

2007-02-15T15:53:00.000-05:00

NE Ohio was right in the bullseye of the big winter storm you may have just heard about. This is the view out our front door yesterday. From this angle, it's hard to tell how much snow there is, but just wait....

Asking Mom for a little help with this one...

2006-12-29T14:18:00.000-05:00

Enjoying Christmas with Aunt Karis and the cousins...

2006-12-29T14:17:00.000-05:00

Christmas morning

2006-12-29T14:09:00.000-05:00

In this shot you see Samuel's big Christmas present from Mom and Dad- his own little table set to sit at and enjoy on a variety of occasions.

In the background you see our Advent candles burning brightly. Of course this year Samuel is quite into opening and enjoying presents, though he wasn't terribly attentive during Daddy's reading of the Christmas story, nor did he seem interested in a subsequent lecture about the "reason for the season" being drowned in a sea of mindless consumer capitalism. I guess, as always, we must be the change we want to see in others (Gandhi) and we must model what we want our son to learn...

Samuel's birthday haul...

2006-12-29T14:05:00.000-05:00

Our own little drummer boy, courtesy of Tim and Christy...

2006-12-29T14:02:00.000-05:00

Watch your head, buddy...

Opening presents with our pastors, Tim and Christy...

2006-12-29T14:00:00.000-05:00

...though the tablecloth is pretty enjoyable too...

2006-12-29T13:59:00.000-05:00

Enjoying some birthday cake...

2006-12-29T13:57:00.000-05:00

Sam's birthday party with cousins...

2006-12-29T13:44:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Samuel

2006-12-29T13:39:00.000-05:00

Okay, sorry for the delay- here is the first of some pictures from Samuel's birthday. This is, of course, his cake...

2006 In Brief

2006-12-27T20:17:00.000-05:00

Spoiler Alert: The following is from our Christmas newsletter; so if you haven't gotten yours yet, consider yourself warned. To read Robert's usual Christmas theological reflection and to hear about his work travails over the past year, click over to his blog.

I write these words on a quiet winter evening as Samuel sleeps peacefully
upstairs. Kirsten is at work and I am able to focus, for now, on the many tasks
that so easily fill up my time– including, in this case, getting this Christmas
letter written. Thankfully (for all of us, I guess), this isn’t just something
on my “to do” list. Rather, I am glad for a moment to pause and reflect on the
year that has been while imagining the year that is to come. As is usually the
case, 2006 has been, in short, full– of delightful surprises and heartbreaking
pain, full of much hard work and hard-earned times of rest, full of much
dreaming of what will be and much delight at the realization of so many
long-held dreams.

In my case, 2006 brought several job transitions, the most recent of which
brings the much yearned for possibility of proving to be a long-term role. For
more on that, check out page 4.
Kirsten also transitioned out of her role as
a PICU nurse at Akron Children’s Hospital and into a new role as a RN Shift
Supervisor for Hattie Larlham, a residential facility for special needs kids.
Kirsten has much experience with this population and this role really allows her
to draw on that expertise along with her recent hospital experience, for which
she is grateful. By serving in a supervisory role, Kirsten is also able to hone
her leadership skills so that her experience can benefit the staff she works
with as well as the kids. In short, the job is a great fit for her and she
really enjoys it.

Of course, it’s amazing to see how Samuel has grown and changed over the
past year and as parents we continue to be in awe of the privilege and
responsibility that we have to raise him. He is a hilarious, dynamic,
resourceful, strong, and yes, sometimes challenging little boy that we are
thrilled to call our son.

Early in the year we came across a just-started “emerging” church community
here in Cuyahoga Falls which we are grateful to be a part of. It’s still a
pretty small group and so we have been able to jump right in and start serving
and using our gifts, knowing that we have been “blessed to be a blessing,” and
this brings us great joy. It’s hard to plant a congregation, but believe it or
not we’ve actually been a part of doing so a few times now, and so we are eager
to embrace the challenge.

Kirsten’s Mom also continues to live with us and we’re working at really
loving one another as we go on learning to be an extended family together under
one roof.
In 2006 we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary with great joy
as we took advantage of the opportunity to again renew our wedding vows before
family and friends. We were even able to have the ceremony in front of our own
backyard garden (lovingly created, and with much hard work, by Kirsten’s Mom).

Finally, and most importantly, we keep struggling to follow Jesus, however
poorly we actually do so, and I trust that our enthusiasm and willingness to
make mistakes along the way will prove to be the catalyst by which God’s kingdom
is realized in our own lives– and perhaps in the lives of
others.

Happy Birthday, Son!

2006-12-21T10:33:00.000-05:00

Two years ago yesterday, December 20, Samuel came into the world, rarin' to go, a full four months early. As I work days and Kirsten works evenings, we spent time in the days leading up to Samuel's birthday celebrating with family and friends, and then Kirsten spent time enjoying the day with him before going to work yesterday, and Samuel and I hung out in the evening. It's hard to believe we have a two year old on our hands now. In some ways he doesn't seem two, as he's still catching up in terms of speech and some aspects related to the physical therapy he's been receiving, but in other ways it seems like the "terrible two's" have been with us for a little while already. Samuel has learned "no, no" and uses it quite appropriately as he's doing whatever it is he's not supposed to. That doesn't keep him from doing it, but at least we know he's capable of self-monitoring. He also uses it in other appropriate situations, like today at the ENT doctor. After I held Samuel's head to my chest and held his arms down, not permitting him to move, so that the doctor could look in his ear, Samuel turned to the doctor and quite emphatically said, "No, no!" He's really quite a riot much of the time.

Samuel has learned the sign language for "please," which he uses mostly for (junk) food whenever he sees it, but also appropriately during meals, or for a toy, etc. He's getting picky about what he'll eat lately, though, despite our near-heroic efforts to get him started out right in terms of eating healthily. Anyway, in a now classic move that is very frustrating for Mom and Dad, when trying to feed Samuel something wholesome, he'll do the sign for please, acting as if he wants it, and then will immediately shove the spoon away as soon as we try to bring it anywhere near him. It's a lot of fun (for him anyway...).

We do have a few birthday pictures, I think, which I'll post shortly...

Successful Ear Surgery

2006-12-04T10:15:00.000-05:00

Hey all,

This is a really, really quick update to let you know that Samuel's surgery went well on Friday. We go to the ENT again this Friday and hopefully will hear that the tubes are appropriately in place and things otherwise look good. Since Friday, he hasn't had a fever and he's been much happier (though the steroid he's on again kept him up much of the night last night). So, we're hopeful that this is what was needed to get things headed in the right direction again in terms of Samuel's health. We'll keep you posted...

2006-11-30T18:46:00.000-05:00

We keep telling him to start pulling his own weight around here, and he finally made an attempt...

2006-11-30T18:45:00.000-05:00

What a great kid....

2006-11-30T18:44:00.000-05:00

These are the moments when I think of my son as a little Calvin...

2006-11-30T18:43:00.001-05:00

Samuel looks a little sick here (maybe in more ways than one)...

2006-11-30T18:43:00.000-05:00

Nice specs...

2006-11-30T18:37:00.001-05:00

Having a great time playing in the back yard...

2006-11-30T18:37:00.000-05:00

This is the precise moment when the glee of being tickled turns into the cry of wishing it was over...

2006-11-30T18:35:00.000-05:00

Samuel is just a little tired at the table...

Surgery Tomorrow

2006-11-30T17:45:00.000-05:00

Hello all,

As you know, Samuel is a tough, resilient kid who has overcome a lot, but he'll always be a former micropreemie, and we're learning more about what that means for us. He's been sick off and on since August, spiking fevers up to 104.3, and has had what we thought were multiple ear infections. About two weeks ago we had him in to the urgent care where he required two breathing treatments and was prescribed a steroid. Most recently, on Monday he developed another big fever, and I took him in to the doctor Tuesday after work to learn that he was infected in both ears. Having already tried multiple oral antiobiotics, they have him a shot of a fast-acting antibiotic on Tuesday and told me to bring him back Wednesday evening for a second dose if he wasn't better. He wasn't better last night; so I took him in. After getting home and getting him ready for bed, I noticed that he was shivering and breathing rapidly. I took him in to the ER, where he required another two breathing treatments and they started him up on a steroid again. We were at the ER until midnight last night, but they sent him home.

Because he was in the hospital for so long after he was born and on a ventilator much of that time, he will probably always have respiratory issues, which right now are being exacerbated by whatever virus is causing the ear issues. So we took him in to an ENT specialist today, and were told that he needs surgery- tomorrow (!) to put tubes in his ears. We have to be at the hospital at 6:30 in the morning, and the procedure will take place about 7:30. He's been pretty miserable today, and we have great hope that this will enable him to get back to being healthy so that he (and we) can enjoy the holiday season- including his upcoming birthday. We'll keep you posted on how it goes.

HI!

2006-11-10T09:03:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone. It's been a while since we posted. Here's what's been happening....

Samuel is growing up fast!!!!!!!!! He is running all over the house now and is into everything. He's a happy, fun little guy. He's has been getting used to daycare (now 3-4 hrs twice a week) and his immune system is starting to be able to handle it. Since he got first got sick in August, he's been sick off and on until the last couple weeks. He had his first ear infection and fever of 104!! He's finally better now and we hope to keep it that way for a least a little while :)

He is starting to talk a bit more too. He says bye-bye, uh-oh, peek-a-boo, and goodnight moon (his favorite book). We see a doctor who monitors Samuel's development every 6 months for any delays. The last time we were there, she was concerned about his speech development. He still does not say Mama or Dada and has only starting to use words in the last couple weeks. He is now 22months old, so he should be at about 18 months old for his development (adjusted for his being 16 weeks premature). He is pretty delayed in this area. Soooo, now we go to a Speech Therapist to work on this. He also is still going to Physical therapy and has been making great strides there. We hope Speech will be the same for him. He's a smart little guy, and we know he's processing info...he just can't communicate it yet. It's just taking him longer to catch up than it does for most preemies like him.

We are so very proud of him and are inspired by his strength every day.

Samuel also finally had his Baby Dedication last Sunday!!! It's been a long time coming, but it finally happened.

All is well with the rest of us. I am enjoying my new job at Hattie Larlham Center for Children with Disabilities. It's a great role for me, and I am learning so much. My hours are much better for my health and energy as well. Robert continues to enjoy his new job, though for the past few weeks, he's been working very long hours and getting little sleep while trying to get all of the student's IEP's (Individualized Education Plan) done for the year. It's a huge job! He's looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas break...he gets time off the same as the students.

We'll post pictures later......

Thanks for still checking in!
Love, Kirsten, Robert, and Samuel

The Puke Week revisited

2006-09-10T21:58:00.000-04:00

Hi! Just wanted to let you all know that the puking week is over. One week in daycare is all it took for Samuel to catch a nasty cold (which he passed on to me) and a bad case of stomach issues which are better left undisclosed (which he passed on to all of us). And it's not even winter yet. Needless to say, our daycare days are mostly over. I had 2 weeks of daytime orientation at my new job, so that's why we needed the daycare. Now I am on my regular schedule, and will be working 3 days a week on the evening shift. Samuel only needs daycare on Tuesdays for about 4 hours now. We know he's going to get sick and probably needs to build up some immunity, but come on. Not all in one week! We now have him set up to start at Kindercare, which seemed a lot cleaner and more structured in terms of activities. It will give him some practice at socializing with other folks his age (called "friends" at Kindercare), but hopefully won't stress him out so much.

Samuel is now practically running all over the house and has started using more words. He is catching up fast. These days, you wouldn't even know he was born so prematurely. He truly is a miracle. He's also working on his 8th tooth! He is simply a delight to know. I cannot imagine life without him, and don't even remember what I did all day before he was born.

I am absolutely loving my new job. The kids and the staff are fantastic. It's a great place for me to be; not too stressful but enough to keep me busy and productive.

We hope you are all well.

Peace, Kirsten, Robert, and Samuel

When it rains, it "pours"

2006-08-27T20:44:00.000-04:00

The fun just keeps on comin'. As a result of the changes Kirsten wrote about, Samuel was in day care for the past week, full-time, for the first time ever. The full-time-day-care-thing is only supposed to be temporary during Kirsten's first two weeks of full-time, daytime orientation at her new job, and then we'll only need to have Samuel in daycare for 4-5 hours every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday in the afternoon. Anyway, as so many of you readers know, we've worked really hard over the past year to keep Samuel free from many of the common childhood illnesses because of the great risk in his first year or so at home (after his NICU stay) that a common illness could lead to something much worse, especially in terms of his respiratory system.

So, by the grace of God, that occurred. We kept Samuel home and largely illness free all through the Fall, Winter, and into the Spring. Daycare, then, as you might imagine, has been quite a shock, in more ways than one. We've had to get him up real early, he's there all day surrounded by lots of kids and their germs, he hardly naps there, etc. There's also been a fair bit of stress at home over the past little while for a variety of reasons. Wouldn't you know it, then, that after only four days in daycare we got a call that someone at the center had tested positive for Shigella, and so everyone would have to be tested, etc.? So sure enough, last night Samuel got real, real sick. We don't think it's shigella because his symptoms started at the other end- he started vomiting Saturday night around 9 or 10 'o clock. It sounded like he was choking on his baby monitor; so we ran upstaris to find a significant pile of throw-up. It's a first for Samuel, and for us as parents, and naturally given all our still unresolved trauma from his life so far and the events of the past week, it's a bit scary. He kept puking much of the night, completely emptying his belly, and then moved on to having it come out equally "loose" from the other end of the, er, food chain. He seems a little better, though not much, and we're getting a little concerned about dehydration. We've tried pedialyte, but he recently puked a good bit of that up. So if things are okay tonight we'll take him to the doctor tomorrow. If not- if he keeps puking and having diarrhea- then per our conversation with the nurse-on-call at his doctor's office, we may have to make another trip to the ER. Fun stuff.

We'll keep you posted, and thanks for your interest and prayers.

Changes

2006-08-21T17:22:00.000-04:00

Hi Everyone!

Just a quick update from Kirsten. Samuel is doing well after our big scare. He is just fine, praise God. I, however, am still dealing with my guilt and grief over not having prevented that incident. It is also compounded by my unresolved guilt about his early birth, not being able to will my body to stop laboring so early, etc :( Oh well. Lots of therapy to go through, that's for sure. Even 20 months after his birth, I am still very much dealing with the aftermath.

In news here, I have just started a new job at Hattie Larlham Center for Children with Disabilites. It is a great opportunity for me and will be a much less stressful place for me than the Pediatric ICU. You can check out the website at www.hattielarlham.org. Basically, it is working with kids that I love and allows me a set schedule without weekends or holidays. I am a part time RN shift supervisor on the evening shift (8 hr shifts) Tues through Thursday. It's a perfect fit for me. It's a great facility with wonderful support for staff. I am looking forward to the opportunity to serve there. The hardest part of the job has been the 1st two days so far....Samuel is in day care for 2 weeks while I have my day shift orientation. He is doing fine with it, but it's been really hard on me...I feel like it's been months since I spent a full day with him. We'll get through it though.

Thanks to all of you who continue to keep up with us.

Love, Kirsten, Robert, and Samuel

The "D." in Samuel D Buck

2006-08-18T20:34:00.000-04:00

So here's what happened:

Our wonderful little home here in NE Ohio has a finished, carpeted basement, complete with carpeted stairs going down. There is a door that leads to those stairs down to the basement. As Samuel has gotten more and more mobile and now has begun walking, we've been really careful about trying to child-proof as much as possible. We have a sliding latch that we use for that door that when closed prevents him from opening it even if he pulls on the handle and otherwise keeps the door pretty secure so that Samuel is safe. We've also done our best to communicate to everyone who comes over to be sure to keep the door closed, etc. Anyway, to make a very long story a bit shorter, the door got left open yesterday afternoon, and before we knew it Samuel, who was walking and pushing his rolling cart, went tumbling all the way down the stairs. I can only speak for myself (Robert), but I think I can accurately say that it was the most frightening thing I've ever been through as a parent, and given Samuel's history, that's saying something.

Kirsten and I were both there and both realized what had happened immediately. The good news is that after tumbling down he immediately began crying. Kirsten rushed down to get him, and I called 911. Kirsten brought him upstairs, and did her best to switch from rightfully freaking-out-Mommy-mode to pediatric nurse-mode. She did a quick assessment, and he seemed to be okay. He stopped crying and realized that Kirsten was crying loudly; so he started laughing at Kirsten for crying, which he has always thought is funny. He then squirmed away and started walking- all wonderful signs. The ambulance came and the EMT team was great. They assessed him, and also thought he was okay. However, given his history, age, size, and the distance of his fall, they rightly opted to take him in to the ER. The folks at Akron Children's Hospital, where Kirsten currently works, were great. They had a trauma team ready to go and efficiently and thoroughly did their assessment, and also thought he was fine. After talking it over with the doctor, though, we opted not do any scans, which the doctor did not think was necessary. He actually advised against any scans given all the other good signs and the fact that a CAT scan itself could be pretty harmful to Samuel. Given, this, we did decide with the doctor to go ahead and keep him overnight for observation, however, just to be safe. Samuel's been through so much, ya know?

So, Samuel, Kirsten, and I camped out at the hospital. Tim and Christy, our pastors, were wonderful about coming to the hospital to care for us and "hang" for a while. We all didn't sleep very much last night, but otherwise it was uneventful and Samuel was discharged late this morning. We'lll probably schedule a follow-up appointment with the Traumatic Brain Injury clinic at the hospital, though the doctors felt this was optional.

Needless to say, Kirsten and I are extremely grateful. We feel utterly horrible and are wracked with even more guilt about our job as parents so far. We know that "these things happen," etc., but we also know that it's our job as parents to do our best to keep Samuel safe, and I at least believe that I should have done better. Even so, this is yet another reminder that our lives individually and as a married couple are not our own- and this goes for Samuel too. Samuel belongs to God. I'd like to think that we know this already, perhaps better than most parents, given the way his life began, but yesterday was a stark reminder of the reality of this. So- let me say it again- I can't begin to tell you how grateful we are to God. We know that he is looking out for us and for Samuel and I am firmly convinced that God has some pretty big plans for Samuel, given all that God has brought him through in the past nineteen months. Almost every night since Samuel was born I've prayed, "God, please carry Samuel safely though this night as you have all his others." That prayer really means something to me because in it I recognize God's sovereignty and our dependence on Him, and likewise I show gratitude for his care for Samuel thus far. Well, "the incident" didn't happen at night, but I firmly believe that God literally carried Samuel down those stairs in such a way that he emerged with hardly a scrape and, so far as we know now, no long term ill effects, and for this, as I keep saying, our gratitude knows no bounds!

The "D." in Samuel D. Buck? It stands for "Daredevil," and though Samuel has shown himself to be the king of the stair slalom, God help me if there's ever a repeat performance.

In the meantime, as always, praise God!

Yikes!

2006-07-31T09:41:00.000-04:00

Hello friends,

Thanks for checking up on us and Samuel. We're still plugging along here in Northeast Ohio- enjoying our home, the proximity of family, the many family-oriented offerings in the area, and we are helping to plant another church community that is similar to those which we've been a part of in Philadelphia and Minnesota. Samuel is doing great, for which we daily thank God. He's taken his first steps, which Kirsten and I were blessed to be able to both be there for, and will likely "take off" any day now. We invested in a video camera, and so have been able to capture many of these latest milestones on film. There are still some concerns in terms of his development, though he continues to make wonderful progress. One concern is his right leg- he turns that foot out whenever walking or standing, and will get a brace for it this week or next to train the foot to go forward like it should. Like I said, he takes steps now and is making daily progress in walking. He seems to be focusing on that along with other gross motor skills and exploration, and so isn't progressing as quickly in his speech. He babbles quite a bit and has lots of sounds that we have come to recognize as having certain meanings, but he isn't really using words consistently yet.

In other family news- I (Robert) worked for about four months as a manager of a group home for developentally disabled adults. It was good, rewarding work which challenged me and enabled me to use my gifts, but in the end it was so very demanding and frankly dangerous that it wasn't good for me to continue at it. Two of the men in the home I managed were very violent; so I was daily being hit, kicked, head-butted, scratched, or bitten- sometimes by both men at once (in the van, no less). I was often taking staff or clients to the hospital and probably should have gone a time or two myself. My staff were underpaid and that, coupled with the dangers of the job, led to much staff turnover/absenteeism. I was "on call" 24/7 and so had no ability to set much-needed boundaries, etc. SO- a couple of weeks ago I started work for a local charter school that caters to kids with ADHD or Asperger's Syndrome. They actually have 27 locations throughout the area, and I work at the one down in Canton as an IEP Coordinator, which means that I write the Individual Education Plans for each of the up to 100+ students in my school, along with planning/coordinating the meetings to discuss the plans, oversee their implentation, do some of the testing to gauge what is needed in the plans, etc. It is likewise challenging and meaningful work (though not in the same way, of course), and my position kind of makes me the "number 2" person in terms of responsibility in the school, requiring me to further develop/use my gifts- and that too is good. This job has regular weekday/daytime hours, meaning I can be home every night and set good work/home boundaries, etc. I'll likely even be able to resume plans to start school again.

Kirsten is doing well at Akron Children's Hospital and may have news about that soon, which I'll let her write about.

We did have quite a scare with Samuel this morning, though, which motivated me to write this post. I have a half hour drive to work every morning, and so leave before Kirsten gets home from work if she's worked the previous overnight, which was the case today. Samuel will often sleep until she gets home, with Kirsten's mom there to listen to his room monitor, etc. Today I left without peeking in at him because his door has started squeaking and I didn't want to wake him before Kirsten arrived. When Kirsten got there, she found that his crib rail WAS DOWN! Of course, neither one of us put it down and hardly do so anymore because he's so big. Samuel does sometimes lay on his back and kick the crib rails, mostly out of boredom when going to sleep/waking up. The bottom line is- we don't know how it happened. We praise and thank God that he wasn't really awake enough yet to literally jump out of bed, but are so scared at the thought of what could have happened. Needless to say, after investigating things when I get home there's a good chance we'll be bed-shopping this evening. I'm still worked up just thinking about it, and again am in constant thanks to God that he's okay. Every night when I put Samuel to bed I pray: "Jesus, thank you for Samuel. Please carry him safely through this night as you have all his others." That prayer really means something to me because I've prayed it nearly every night since his first- including the night that we were told he probably wouldn't live through- and God keeps answering that prayer.

That was especially evident this morning.

2006-07-14T23:03:00.000-04:00

This is one of my all-time favorite pictures ever. It somehow captures what a deep thinker the little guy is...

2006-07-14T22:57:00.000-04:00

As you can see- Samuel is pulling up to a standing position and will "creep" along furniture, especially if motivated by food- he's a complete and total "mooch." Anyway, he is very, very close to walking...

2006-07-14T22:54:00.000-04:00

A few days later, Samuel enjoyed his first popsicle, for which he was appropriately near-naked and on the deck. It took some warming up to- literally- but proved to be a hit....

2006-07-14T22:53:00.000-04:00

The cake anyway was actually for Mom, Dad, and Uncle Tim, who share nearly the same birthdays...

2006-07-14T22:47:00.000-04:00

Samuel pushing cousin Michaela around on his little scooter on Mom's birthday...

2006-07-14T22:46:00.000-04:00

Caught in the act- and it's only just begun...

2006-07-14T22:45:00.000-04:00

...as is coming and going from it as he pleases, along with continued fascination with any camera...